


Happier

by cumaliciouslarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broken Engagement, Depressed Louis, Hurt Louis, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, not finished fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 03:45:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10403139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cumaliciouslarry/pseuds/cumaliciouslarry
Summary: Baby, you look happier, you doI knew one day you'd fall for someone newBut if he breaks your heart like lovers doJust know that I'll be waiting here for you





	

_ Walking down 29th and Park _ __  
_ I saw you in another's arms _ __  
_ Only a month we've been apart _ _  
_ __ You look happier

 

The first time Louis sees them together is like a punch in the gut; all the air is knocked out of him and his palms throb with how hard he’s digging his fingernails in them. They’re walking straight towards him, both oblivious to the world around them. Louis feels his heart physically ache with the fact that the person he was so close to calling his husband is completely wrapped in someone else, only a month after they’ve parted. 

 

Louis lifts the hood of his sweater over his head and keeps his eyes downcast. Harry barely glances at him when they accidentally bump shoulders as they pass and Louis’ pace quickens. His knees feel weak and his mouth dry. He hears Harry’s bright laugh before he rounds the corner and runs to his flat. 

 

\--

 

_ Saw you walk inside a bar _ __  
_ He said something to make you laugh _ __  
_ I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours _ _  
_ __ Yeah, you look happier, you do

 

Louis finds himself in a dingy bar on a Friday night cursing Liam for thinking this was a good idea. He knows he was simply trying to cheer him up, but Louis is feeling the exact opposite of cheered up. Liam has just left to use the restroom when Louis looks up to find Harry and his boyfriend walk into the bar. Figures.

 

Harry’s face is smiling and when his boyfriend whispers something into his ear, he cackles. They both stumble over to the bartender and once they order, turn to each other. Louis looks away when Harry leans in to press a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. When Louis looks back at them to find them deep into their kiss, he shoots up and out of the bar in a second. Screw Liam.

 

There’s a park about five minutes north of the bar and ten minutes away from his flat. He makes his way to the swing, consumed by the darkness and the cold of the midnight air. He thinks and he shakes. 

 

_ Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you _ __  
_ But ain't nobody love you like I do _ __  
_ Promise that I will not take it personal, baby _ _  
_ __ If you're moving on with someone new

After ten minutes of sitting on the swing, Liam comes into view with a worried expression on his face. He takes the swing next to Louis, but doesn’t say a word. For a while they both just sit there allowing the tension to stew. Finally Louis breaks,

 

“It’s my fault you know.” It’s all he offers, the only thing he can manage to say right now when the pain and the hurt is too strong. When the guilt is crawling up his throat and the engagement rings are burning a hole into his chest. “It’s all my fucking fault.”

 

Liam looks at Louis and takes in the dark bags under his eyes, the frown that’s taken residence on his face since more than a month ago, and the overall defeat in his posture. He loves his best friend and doesn’t understand how he managed to be the happiest person he knew to this. “Why?”

 

“I… I don’t even know, Li. He didn’t say anything, but it has to be my fault. What other reason would he have to essentially leave me at the alter? I had to have done something wrong. I- I-” Louis is overwhelmed, but he sticks out his hand to stop Liam’s outstretched hand. 

 

“It had to be my fault. Maybe he didn’t know how much I loved him? Maybe I said something to him that hurt him? Whatever it is, it’s my fault because isn’t everything, Liam? I just… I just don’t understand how I’m suppose move on and live my life like he’s managed to do.” This time when Liam reaches for him, he doesn’t stop him. He allows himself to cry into his best friend’s chest, desperate for some kind of comfort. 

 

“We’ll get you better, boo. I promise.” 

 

_ 'Cause baby you look happier, you do _ __  
_ My friends told me one day I'll feel it too _ __  
_ And until then I'll smile to hide the truth _ _  
_ __ But I know I was happier with you

 

\--

 

_ Sat on the corner of the room _ __  
_ Everything's reminding me of you _ __  
_ Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier _ _  
_ __ Aren't you?

 

Louis is sat in the corner of the room, back against the wall with empty beer and pill bottles littered around him. The clock on the table next to him says 3: 30 am, but he doesn’t really know what day it is. He hasn’t left his flat in so long and hasn’t spoken to Liam in even longer. In the beginning it had been so painful to be in here, but now he welcomes the burn. 

 

Everything about Louis is burning. His eyes burn, his heart burns, his entire being is being burned and swallowed whole by a single flame. His eyes slowly track his bedroom. Harry’s beat up boots are still sitting by the closet door, something he’d forgotten to take with him. The bedding is still rumpled from the last time they had slept in it together. Some of the drawers of clothing are still half way out from Harry’s packing. Louis’ been sleeping in the living room, in fact, he hasn’t been in this room since that day and well, until now. 

 

When Louis closes his eyes all he sees is Harry holding hands with his boyfriend, both of them loving each other. Harry’s boyfriend proposing to him, Harry’s boyfriend marrying him. Harry’s boyfriend making him the happiest he ever was with Louis. Something clutches on Louis’ heart and he gasps, eyes opening wide. 

 

He gasps, feeling a tingling and painful sensation take over his body. He’s terrified for a split second before he allows himself to feel calm for the first time since Harry walked out of his life. He lifts a heavy hand to his chest where two engagement rings rest on a chain. 

 

He lets the dark consume him and he thinks this might be the happiest he’s been since Harry loved him. 

\-- 

 

Harry’s has about three fingers in him when his phone rings. Ben peeks over at him and makes a face efficiently telling him to turn it off. Harry is about to when the ringing stops and he looks down at Ben and shrugs. Ben is just about to go back to his steady rhythm when the phone rings a second time and he sighs, kissing Harry’s inner thigh before pulling out and waiting for Harry to take his call. 

 

“Hello?”

 

It’s completely silent until Harry slaps a hand over his mouth and croaks, “No.”

 

_ Baby, you look happier, you do _ __  
_ I knew one day you'd fall for someone new _ __  
_ But if he breaks your heart like lovers do _ _  
_ __ Just know that I'll be waiting here for you

\--

Louis doesn’t wake up for two weeks. But in those two weeks, he hears every visitor who comes to see him. He hears when Liam cries and calls him an idiot. He hears when he says how terrified he was to find him practically dead on the bedroom floor and how he better wake up.

 

The second voice he hears is filled with regret and grief. He can hear Harry’s sobbing and his “Whys?” and his pleads for him to wake up. He hears Liam, calm and collected Liam, yell at Harry for the way he left. Louis almost wakes up then to tell Liam to back off, but he’s still too deep into the darkness to resurface.

 

\-- 

 

When Louis wakes up, it’s raining outside. It’s dark in his room and he can see Liam and Harry both asleep in the couch next to his hospital bed. He watches both of them, not sure whether he’s glad to see their faces or to be disappointed that he’s not dead right now. 

 

He chooses the latter, “Why am I alive?” When this doesn’t wake the sleeping boys he clears his throat and shouts even louder, “Why am I alive?!” 

 

Liam shoots up first, knocking his head against Harry’s who grumbles and slowly shakes himself out of his slumber. Both boys scramble to get to his bed and they’re beaming to see him awake. Their happy expressions fade, though when Louis speaks again. 

 

“Why. The. Hell. Am. I. Alive.”

 

Liam speaks first, “Louis.”

 

“No! Why did you bring me here, Liam? You knew how miserable I was, why did you save me? I wanted to die! I- I-” he can’t breathe, he can’t fucking breathe and his head feels like it’s going to implode into itself and he’s sobbing because it  _ hurts.  _

 

Nurses rush in and drag Liam and Harry out of the room kicking and screaming. 

Louis doesn’t wake up for two more days. 

\--

TBC

**Author's Note:**

> Happier -Ed Sheeran


End file.
